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Where did the inspiration come from more for "God Doesn’t Make Mistakes," your life personally, seeing what happens to the people around you, or an even amount of both?
Both but primarily that was a very personal poem. I was going through a lot at the time. I got to the place where I realized that not in concept but in experience that the most difficult things I had gone through shaped me into who I was rather than all of my successes. I really started to appreciate my failures and everything that I had gone through and was still going through at that time. It was a catalyst for me becoming a better person. I wanted to document that somehow
You have an updated spin on the nursery rhyme "Jack & Jill," but what made you choose to update Jack & Jill out of all of the nursery rhymes?
That’s a weird story. I started that rap when I was 19. I started the first 8 bars when I was 19 and I literally had it for about 7/8 years and did nothing with it. It was always in the back of my mind. Some pieces, you have inspiration to start them and finishing them, you don’t become inspired until you do become inspired. Some people work through writer’s block. I’ve done that before and I that it is better for me to just let it go and when the time is right it will present itself to me. 8 years later, I thought about it randomly and I just started writing it. It just kind of finished itself. I can’t really explain to you why I choose “Jack & Jill” because it was not an intellectual decision. It wasn’t like I was thinking “Jack & Jill because I want to make a political statement.” “Jack & Jill” was a cute nursery rhyme to me and I wanted to make it gangsta. It kind of took on a life of its own.
Tell all of the poets out there what it takes to be a Grand Slam Champion.
It takes perseverance. It takes a lot of hours on your own. It takes your own style. Everybody is born with different talent levels and you have no control over that so you are working with what you have. Whatever you are working with you have to dwindle it down until you know what it is that you are presenting.
What I found is that when I was younger, in my 20s and still trying to figure things out, I would use the paper as therapy. I would put stuff out there and sometimes it would be great and sometimes it would be crap. Sometimes I would think it was great and then it was crap and sometimes I would think it was crap and I would read it 5 months later and think, “This is great!” So I didn’t really know what I was putting out there. At this point, when I write, I have something to say. I know that I want to say something so I spend the time cultivating that piece and I’m much more specific now as a writer. That took many, many years of me just scribbling.
Do you feel the audience’s vibe when you think it’s not good?
Yea, totally! It doesn’t feel good. Then it’s my job to get them anyway. I try to put out more energy rather than sulking and letting it get to my head. That was one of the things that took me a long time to learn and I am still learning it. It is a process for me - not relying on the audience for the need to feel good about my performance. It’s finding a way to know myself and my style so well that if I think I killed and I walk away from a set and somebody goes, “That was cool man, ehh whatever” I don’t sweat it. If I don’t think I killed and I know that I could have been better in my heart and then I walk away from a set and somebody goes, “That was awesome” I put my compliments and criticisms in the same area. Sometimes the audience is just tired. So sometimes you’re on stage - well, first of all everything is your perception of what’s happening. So if I’m not completely in my piece and watching to see if they are responding, are they laughing at the punch lines, are they in it…I’m not in my moment, I’m in my head. Ironically sometimes the audience is in it, they are just thinking. They are just enjoying it without having the need to participate. You can talk yourself into not giving a good performance because you are relying on their response in order to feel good about yourself rather than learning how to be onstage and just give your all. Give your all for the moment, give your all for yourself, give your all for what you are saying. If this is important to you, give it away without being worried about what the judgment is going to be.
You have several independent albums out now, describe each album.
Memoirs of an Insomniac was done at a time in my life where I still wanted to become the intellectual Eminem. If you listen to that album, that’s basically what it sounds like. I love that album, it has a very special place in my heart.
48 Hours was like an experimental album. Me and my buddy literally locked ourselves in a studio for 48 hours and recorded all of these songs, mixed them, and what you see is what you get. The mastering was done later, that was done with my buddy, Jeremiah. That has a very special place in my heart just because it was so experimental.
From The Outside Looking In…the album title explains exactly how I was feeling during that period of time. I was frustrated with the state of hip hop. When I had fallen in love with hip hop it was one thing and then when I got in the position to be able to contribute, it was totally different. I felt out of place at that point. I was very tunnel vision, I wasn’t interested in acting or poetry, poetry happened very much by accident. Rapping was all that I wanted. I wanted the hip hop I was born and raised on. That was the feeling I had when I made that album.
I made another album that never came out. It was a little more commercial and pop. I came very close to getting signed with that album and some drama happened and that did not go through. When it didn’t go through, I kind of realized that I wasn’t as in love as I had been with that particular genre at that particular time.
That’s when I started to branch out and came out with the Life Period album which is much more of an acoustic hip hop album. It kind of reflects what I was listening to at that point. That was a dope album but it was the me I had thought I had been and not the me that I actually was. I was listening to Radiohead more right now than I’m listening to what I had been. I’m not really down with the hip hop that’s out on the radio anymore. I’m listening to old school hip hop so I wanted to start incorporating that into my music. I consider myself a musician more than just a rapper.
When Two Worlds Collide is kind of me embracing all aspects of my creativity. It’s me letting go of only wanting to be A and looking at A, B, C, and D. That’s the acting, working with a band, doing the poetry seriously, and also being re-inspired by the art form of hip hop. The DJ, MC thing is still beautiful and fresh. I just had to step away from it to be able to see it different. What’s ironic is that when I started to embrace all of those things in my life, each one of the things that I was working on got better.
The newest album, When Two Worlds Collide features the hit Def Poetry Jam poem, "When Hip-Hop Was Fun" but have you written or will you write a poem with the angle of “What Hip Hop Will Be?”
I just recently wrote something titled, “The Worst Rap Ever” and that’s kind of what it is. I don’t really have the guts though to say what it’s going to be (laughs). I would much rather try to embody the future of hip hop than explain to someone what I think it’s going to be. "When Hip-Hop Was Fun" was an ode to a time when I was in love with hip hop. I was so in love with hip hop that it was just corny.
You have written about living without a father but when writing about this, was it always something that you knew you wanted to share?
Writing it was harder than sharing it. Once I wrote it, I had to perform it a couple of times to be able to feel okay showing that emotion in front of people.
As far as acting goes, what roles do you see yourself playing in the future on the big or small screen and in theatre?
Gangsters. Really, I’m not in the position right now to choose my projects but take what comes my way. When I started, I played a lot of angry people and now I play more comedians. I’m trying to find a middle ground.
How did the opportunity for you to open for The Red Hot Chili Peppers at the 2004 Democratic Campaign Fundraiser in LA come about?
My friend Celeste Prince, who just knows everybody and their momma hooked it up for me to perform. It was amazing. I hung out with Barack Obama for a second. He shook my hand, gave me his card…and I lost it. That was before Barack Obama was Barack Obama. That being said, he was ridiculously connected and I remember thinking, “This guy is really special.” He shook my hand and told me he was really moved by my performance and if I ever wanted to talk, needed anything to just call. (Laughs) I lost it! I went through about 4 moves and I lost the card. So Barack, if you’re out there, I love you man. I hope you bring it home and…hit me up!
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